Much A-Do About Something

The Leafs are at somewhat of a cross roads right now, as they were last year and the year before and the one before that.  The corner of "tire fire" and "no, dig UP, stupid" is familiar territory for us Leafs fans, and the team looks, as per usual, poised to pull an illegal right hand turn straight down Tire Fire Lane, again.

"But if you're so smart, what would YOU do? Mr Armchair GM?" they ask (those two guys are real pushy).
"Well" I respond "I'd do this" and then I list things in a bullet point break down because people love lists, 10 points of course, what? I wanna work for buzzfeed.

1- James Reimer - Sign him, sign him right fucking now to anything Bernier contract or under. There is ZERO reason not to, I've been over this countless times on twitter and other sites, and I mean it. Zero reason not to retain Reimer. And don't play that "he might not want to be a back up" crap with me because it doesn't matter, the Leafs arn't in the feelings game, they are in the win hockey games game. If Reimer wants to go off into the sunset, he can play his way to significant trade value and garner that.

2- Dave Bolland - Give him a bottle of sunscreen and tell him to enjoy Florida. His injury is too scary, his demands too high, he is still rehabilitating an insane injury, he has never broken 50 points and wants 5 million dollars and he needs a special skate for the rest of his life because of his injury.

3- Tim Gleason- Pay him to go away, he's awful and every single Marlie could be a better Leafs defenceman than him. Yes, Drew Macintyre included.

4- Tyler Bozak- See, I think Tyler had himself a whale of a season, and kudos for him, but the only thing to do that makes sense long term is trade him. He's 28 years old, has never scored 50 points despite playing between 2 30 goal scorers for a good while and Phil Kessel his entire career and his value will never be higher. I  have many doubts about what he can do away from Kessel if the Leafs do get a legit 1C (or wake up and realize Kadri is better and should center Kessel and JVR). He's a defensive black hole and actually isn't very good at faceoffs.
Sell High.

5- Nazem Kadri- Don't trade him unless someone is stupid enough to offer you the moon.

6- Jake Gardiner- See Kadri.

7- Nik Kulemin- If he takes under 3.25 million, sign that yesterday

8- Cody Franson- I'm not as down on Cody as most are (or as high on him as a select few) and think he is a pretty darned good defenceman. He is VERY good offensivly and his defensive fancy numbers are quite good. He is the prime example of a good player being horrifically burned by a terrible system, Carlyles circus turns him into a visual nightmare. Put Franson with a nice mobile D (like, say, Gardiner or Rielly) who can use and abuse the fantastic first pass that Franson possesses and watch the magic.

9- Draft- oh joy the draft, who doesn't love the draft? Well if I had my way, the Leafs selection priority goes
   - Dont trade up, you will get ripped off
   - Dont trade down unless your guy falls and you can rip someone off
   - Draft, in order of want the following
Reinhart, Bennett, Ekblad, Draisaitl, DalColle, Nylander, Ehlers, Fabbri,           whoeverbecauseitsunlikelythatyoudontdraftat8

10 -Carlyle - Fire him. Right now. Into the sun. Bylsma is still available! Why are you just sitting there? DO IT YOU RUBE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?


/endscene